I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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