I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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