She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
how drunk are you?
Several
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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