He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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