Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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