Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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