home. puking in laundry basket.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
