just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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