It's Friday. Sex?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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