sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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