Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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