My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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