drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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