Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
