just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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