Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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