The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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