what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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