cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
