that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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