The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
