Who did Billy Mays play for?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize