Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
