Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
