sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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My breasts were aching with rage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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