So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
