NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
