this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
