If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
