I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
