Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
All I want is dick and wine.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
