she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Me too!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
