Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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