I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the day after is always just damage control
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
