Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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