my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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