at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
