am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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