D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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