she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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