weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
