you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
