trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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