I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
