I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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