Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
