I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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