What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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