this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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