one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
