ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
