Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
