I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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