Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
