Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
