omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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