soooo we both peed the bed last night...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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