i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
