You smell like stripper and shame
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
