wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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