I will die if light touches me.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize